Sunday, September 30, 2012

Just when you thought I'd given up for good...

Ok six months has gone by since my last post. The three people who still read or care will be PUMPED for my graceful return to self indulgent internet musings. Just to be clear in those six short months I did manage to graduate from for real. I have a BA. I dont ever have to go to school again if I dont want to. But I do. So I will. I never thought I would really do it. There is this insouciant teenage drop out within who was dragging her feet the whole time going, "who caaaares! what is it all fooor!" But persistance and a very good therapst have aided in my prevailing over the worser parts of my delicate psyche in order to slay the dragon that IS college. Oh shit what do I do now? Oh I at the palm and draw pictures in my spare time. The same thing I was doing before only I am twenty grand in debt and so much fucking smarter. I am giving myself some time to just chill and process all thats happend to me in the last year. Wait for some sign from god to point me in any direction at all. It was this time almost exactly 365 days ago that I was wandering the streets of Berlin falling in love with the city and with the people I was getting to know and with Feminism (capital F). What I wouldnt give to go back...but I do all the time in my mind. The most delightful side effect of that experience is the endless daydream fodder (and the beautiful friends I met). In any case, I am forcing myself to get back on my dwarfish and lame pony and start making things again. The going is slow and painful. I am in another one of those phases where everything I make looks silly and pointless and I am not sure why I do it at all, except that the not doing it makes me feel worse. So I do it. Night after night, fighting my way in to some semblence of "THE ZONE." I know its in there somewhere. And when I least expect it, Ill make something great. Just enough to keep me hanging on. But until then...


  1. I would totally add it to your collection but I think I threw it out in a drunk rage.

  2. It doesn't matter what you do now! It's your birthday tomorrow! Happy Birthday!