Last night was like most, its late enough to start drawing, so I sit down and begin the task of trying to make something that isnt too wretched to live. But alas it was looking like one of THOSE nights where everything I touch turns to watery shit. See below...
I couldn't really find my way in to THE ZONE, and I wasn't really interested in arguing my way in. I have resigned myself to the fact that sometimes you have to make a few ugly ones before you get something thats worthwhile. The hardest part is pressing through the crushing defeat to keep working. But on this particular night everything I made was making me feel lonley and washed up, so as a final fuck you to the whole affair, I grabbed a canvas (something I rarely do) and with a camel light dangling from my lips, I half heartedly sketched a figure. I tend to shy away from painting, as I always thought it unwieldy. I could never figure out the proper use of color, everything always seemed to turn in to a primary color nightmare. So I stuck to my strengths, drawing with pen and ink. But if Im in the mood to fuck things up good and proper, and I was, paint is the order of the day. BUT THEN...I dont know what happend! It was good, and VERY GOOD!! Im not sure if having my expectations in the toilet freed my from my usually limited range, but I then proceeded to make one of the best paintings of my whole life. It was like it was painting itself through my hand, and mostly I am watching kind of bemused and amazed. It has a little more subtlety and nuance than I could formerly acheive with paint. Not that its a master piece by any stretch...more of a personal best. I have no idea how I did it or if I could ever repeat last nights magic, but its nights like that that keep you chasing the dragon.
No comments:
Post a Comment